Picturebook Manuscript Quiz: How do you measure up?

Take the Quiz

• Fourteen Sections–Structure, Plot:
  Divide your manuscript into a minimum of fourteen sections, with each section a scene in the story. ( If you have fewer than fourteen sections, it’s probably a magazine piece, not a picturebook.)
  • Does each section have an action to illustrate?
  • Does each section make you want to turn the page?
  • Does each section advance the story? If you take out a page, does it destroy the story?
  • Does the plot have a narrative arc with a beginning, middle and end?
• Topic:

  Is the story kid appropriate, kid appealing?

• Language:

  Is the story easy and fun to read aloud? Have you used interesting, fun language?

  Have you allowed places for kids to join in, such as a refrain to repeat?

• Illustrations:
  Have you left space for the illustrator? Don’t describe every visual, but leave that to the illustrator. However, DO add things you touch, smell, taste and hear.

More Picturebook postings.

Where do you find your ideas? Every author gets this question, but I’m one of the few who has a straightforward answer. Go to www.illustrationfriday.com.

Friday Ideas 2008

Last year, in the midst of lots of family struggles, I asked several people to join me in trying to come up with more original picturebook ideas. Here are the posts from last year.

• The original Friday Ideas posting.
• Friday Ideas Updated at five months.
• Originality is one of the emphases of the whole idea.

In December 2007, I asked the group if they wanted to continue and almost everyone is still with us. Entering a second year of Friday Ideas, I wondered what would be different and already, there’s an interesting thing happening.

When you start an exercise program, the first couple months is hard. Muscles ache. It’s hard to get motivated. You stumble. You fuss about which are the best shoes to wear, the best socks to wear, the best sports bra to wear. In short, you’re uncomfortable about everything.

In a similar way, Friday Ideas was hard last year. But this year, I’m finding that I come up with ideas easier, and when I find an idea, it develops into a full mss lots faster. So far in 2008, I’ve written two picturebooks and they seemed easy, natural to write. I wasn’t fighting the material and trying to force it into a structure for which it wasn’t suited. Instead, I seem to grasp the conceptual idea faster and then am able to work with the language and voice easier.

Oh, I’m not saying it’s all a snap and I don’t have problems! But, it just feels easier and more natural to be working with a story that runs under 500 words and once the story arc is right, it feels unfinished until I go the extra step of reading aloud and working with the language and rhythms.

For example, I had a good idea for a picturebook before I went to the NYC SCBWI conference last week. While in NYC, I wrote about five or six drafts of the story (handwritten b/c I didn’t have a laptop with me), often scribbling during a presentation, or snatching five or ten minutes before bedtime. I had a full weekend there, and participated in everything; it’s just that I’ve learned to work in the midst of a full life. I came home with a 340 word picturebook that I’m really excited about.

In writing, we’re seldom told to consistently exercise our language and writing muscles. We write picturebooks when inspiration strikes; we work inconsistently on novels, because, well, life happens. But this year of consistently trying to come up with original ideas (in the midst of life!) and then consistently work with the best of those ideas to turn out picturebook mss, it has been a great experience.

It’s sorta like artists who commit to turning out a sketch a day, or a finished piece of art a month. What you find is something about art that only happens when you work consistently.

So–I wish I could report that I had sold all nine of the picturebooks I wrote last year. I can’t. But I’ve had revision requests, some mss are being held for decisions, etc. Our business works so slowly that I expect it will be the end of this year before I really start to see fruit from the 2007 mss. But I’m hopeful. Stay tuned for more updates!

These are my favorite Thanksgiving books:

• 
  Molly’s Pilgrim by Barbara Cohen.

  This classic never fails to touch my heart. Molly has to make a Pilgrim for her class’s Thanksgiving celebration. Mama tells her that she will make the Pilgrim, so go on to bed. But Mama makes a doll that looks like a Russian peasant. This poignant story reminds us that Thanksgiving is made anew for each immigrant today.

• Thank You, Sarah! by Laurie Halse Anderson.

  This great story tells how Sarah Hale, a true American hero, saved Thanksgiving with the mighty power of the pen. The voice is informal, almost flippant, as the narrator addresses the audience in a second person point of view. Great use of authorial voice. Great information. Great inspiration.

My family comes in today and I’ll be cooking turkey, watching football and generally playing–or, as my son says, I’ll be chillaxing. I’ll be back on Monday!

Happy Thanksgiving to All.

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How can you be original in your work?

It’s a question I’ve been exploring all year as I worked on picture book ideas especially. Last year, many of my pb rejections said, “This is well written, but it just doesn’t stand out in a crowded market.”

Of course, that made me mad! And when I get mad, I think hard and try to do something about it. Enter, Friday Ideas. The idea was to create as many original, different picturebook ideas as possible. I’m not totally consistent in doing it, but most weeks I’ve created 5-10 new picture book ideas. Out of those, I’ve written eight picturebooks and I’m working on two more. Let’s say 30 ideas/week, 120/month. Out of that, one finds its way to the top and gets written. Yes, I’m submitting those and so far, I’ve not gotten that dreaded comment about no originality. I get other comments, now, but not that one.

How to be original? One answer is to generate lots of ideas and let the cream rise.

But I’m sure there are other answers. I’m working on an article about this topic. If you’ve done something specific to jumpstart your push for originality, please email me or leave a comment. I’d like to talk to you about your strategies.

Two weeks ago, I got a revision letter from an editor about a picturebook.  Hurrah!

You can guess what I did.  I tore the mss apart and revised and revised.  I read it aloud.  I reseached typical dialogue for different regional dialects, so I could personalize the characters.  I sharpened the conflict.  I cut.  (OK, I know you’re laughing here, because my typical comment with picturebooks is to cut the length by one-third.)  In short, I did a great revision.  I almost sent it out last week.

But I forced myself to wait.

Wait.  Do you know how much I hate waiting?  Besides, I know how to revise, right?  What more could the mss need?

LOTS.  I sent it to my critique group and they had significant suggestions.  No, not major things.  And I wanted to SCREAM at how nit-picky they were.  By now, I had changed so much that some of the character names were no longer appropriate.  For one character, I had to call a friend to check on dialect characteristics for a specific ethnic group.  With an emotional few tears, I finally accepted that even the main character needed a name change.  Much to my dismay, my critiquers had pointed out two small (tiny–how could they even think of that?!) logic flaws that I had to address.  Some insightful person wanted the conflict to begin on page one.  I combed it yet again for micro-cuts, making sure I avoided the pitfall of doing every change the Line-Editor-Critiquer suggested.

I love my critiquers!  They were right!  The result was a tighter, better mss, possible ONLY because I had waited and asked for help.

I wish I could convey to you how much I hate this part of the process and how painful it is to have my baby torn apart before my eyes and how much I ignore all the nice things people say and only focus on the things that need work.  It is painful.  The process of getting critiques and doing that last, crucial revision is painful.

But necessary.

Say a prayer for my new baby making its way into the world even as you read this.  May it find a lovely home!

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Rhyming Picture Book Bibliography

If you’ve been around children’s literature long, you know that editors often say they don’t like rhyming books. What they really mean is they don’t like bad rhyme. Presented here is a bibliography of recent rhyming picture books. Study these as examples of successful books in this category.

Thanks to Bob Schechter for permission to reprint the list, which he first posted on the SCBWI discussion boards. I’ve edited it to include only titles 2005 and after.

Even More Parts by Tedd Arnold (Puffin 2007)
Goodnight, Sweet Pig by Linda Bailey (Kids Can Press 2007)
Five Little Ducks by Ivan Bates (Scholastic 2006)
My Granny Went to Market by Stella Blackstone (Barefoot Books 2006)
Out for the Count by Kathryn Cave (Francis Lincoln 2006)
Click, Clack, Splish, Splash by Doreen Cronin (Simon & Schuster 2006)
Llama Llama Red Pajama by Anna Dewdney (Viking 2005)
G Is For One Gzonk! by Tony DiTerizzi (Simon & Schuster 2006)
A Squash and a Squeeze by Julia Donaldson (Macmillan Children’s Books 2007)
One Ted Falls Out of Bed by Julia Donaldson (Henry Holt 2006)
The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson (Puffin 2005, reprint 2006)
Cha-Cha Chimps by Julia Durango (Simon & Schuster 2006)
Down In Louisiana by Johnette Downing (Pelican 2007)
Estelle Takes A Bath by Jill Esbaum (Henry Holt 2006)
Beetle Bop by Denise Fleming (Harcourt 2007)
Zoo’s Who by Douglas Florian (Harcourt 2005)
Where the Giant Sleeps by Mem Fox (Harcourt 2007)
The Magic Hat by Mem Fox (Voyager 2006)
In My Backyard by Valarie Giogas (Sylvan Dell 2007)
Ten Little Wishes by Andrea Gosline (HarperCollins 2007)
Red Are The Apples by Marc Harshman (Harcourt 2007)
A Child’s Bedtime Companion (Hardcover) by Sandy Henry (Ambassador 2005)
Winter Lights: A Season in Poems & Quilts by Anna Grossnickle Hines (Greenwillow 2005)
A House Is A House For Me by Mary Ann Hoberman (Puffin, Gift Edition 2007)
You Read to Me, I’ll Read to You: Very Short Stories to Read Together by Mary Ann Hoberman (Little Brown Young Readers, August 2006)
You Read to Me, I’ll Read to You: Very Short Fairy Tales to Read Together by Mary Ann Hoberman (Little Brown Young Readers, August 2007)
Collected Poems for Children by Ted Hughes (Farrar, Straus and Giroux 2007)
Pajama Light by Gale Sypher Jacob (Dutton,2006)
If Mom Had Three Arms by Karen Kaufman Orloff (Sterling 2006)
Rough, Tough Charley by Verla Kay (Tricycle Press 2007)
How Do I Love You? by Leslie Kimmelman (HarperCollins 2005)
Seven Spunky Monkeys by Jackie French Koller (Harcourt 2005)
Big Is Big (and little, little) by J. Patrick Lewis (Holiday House 2007)
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Jack Martin (Little Simon; Mini Book & CD edition October 2006)
Ohio Thunder by Denise Dowling Mortensen (Clarion Books 2006)
When Sheep Sleep by Laura Numeroff (Abrams 2006)
The Wizard by Jack Prelutsky (Greenwillow June 2007)
Behold the Bold Umbrellaphant: And Other Poems by Jack Prelutsky (Greenwillow 2006)
I Saw An Ant On The Railroad Track by Joshua Prince (Sterling 2006)
I Saw An Ant In The Parking Lot by Joshua Prince (Sterling 2007)
While Mama Had A Quick Little Chat by Amy Reichert (Atheneum/Richard Jackson Books 2005)
Won’t You Be My Kisseroo? by Joanne Ryder (Harcourt 2008)
Won’t You Be My Hugaroo? by Joanne Ryder (Harcourt 2008)
Very Hairy Bear by Alice Schertle (Harcourt 2007)
Baby Can’t Sleep by Lisa Schroeder (Sterling 2005)
There Was A Coyote Who Swallowed a Flea by Jennifer Ward (Rising Moon 2007)
Jazz Baby by Lisa Wheeler (Harcourt 2007)
Mammoths on the Move by Lisa Wheeler (Harcourt 2006) ( Booklist Notable)
One Dark Night by Lisa Wheeler (Voyager 2006)
Falling for Rapunzel by Leah Wilcox (Puffin 2005)
Bear Feels Sick by Karma Wilson (Margaret K. McElderry 2007)
Ten Naughty Little Monkeys by Suzanne Williams (HarperCollins 2007)
Let’s Go Visiting by Sue Williams (Harcourt 2006)
How to Bake an American Pie by Karma Wilson (Margaret K. McElderry 2007)
How Do Dinosaurs Play With Their Friends? by Jane Yolen (Scholastic 2006)
Rhymes and Riddles (Word Play) (Paperback) (HarperCollins 2007)

Note: I am an Amazon affiliate. Following the Purple Crayon’s lead, I would love to make this website a resource for children’s writers and eventually have it function as a part-time job. This means, if you plan to buy the books, please support the site by clicking on the Amazon links to buy them.

Note: I’m responding to Fuse #8’s post, “Revenge of the Kicked Mushroom” (The post was removed, soon after it was posted), which has a fictional editorial letter about “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” The mocking letter applies typical editorial comments to a folktale, a spin which certainly captures the feeling I’ve often had when I first read an editorial critique. To take off on a tangent, though, I’ve written before about why these type comments rarely work for a folktale here. This was originally published as “When Folktales Fail: Modernize Your Picture Book” Children’s Writer. December, 2005.

Picturebooks: Folk Tale or Modern Story?

Despite several sales of picture book manuscripts, I still receive many rejections. Why? That’s what I recently set out to learn.

My search began with an article by Jill Paton Walsh, the grande dame of British children’s literature. In an article in the Horn Book (January/February 2003, pages 21-27), she contrasted characters in folktales and modern stories. Folktales deal with characters in their family roles—mother, father, child, sibling. The stories themselves are often symbolic and defy rational analysis. The Billy Goats Gruff are just goats in a certain birth order, nothing more and nothing less. Cinderella has a stepmother and two stepsisters, but we know very little else about any of these characters.

In contrast, Walsh says, modern stories present characters in a reasoned narration, and not just as filling familial roles, “but as free autonomous spirits, whose destiny is personal fulfillment, Each characters is “. . . a unique individual with a unique personality, quirks and characteristic strengths and weaknesses, and a lively inner world of his or her own” (pp. 26-27). In a current version of Cinderella, the young woman must be reborn with a strong individual personality, as she is in the movie “Ever After,” for instance. Here, Cinderella loves the land, has a passion for life and learning that surprises and delights the Prince. She doesn’t need a rescuer because she’s strong enough to stand up to the villain herself; in fact, she rescues the Prince from the gypsies with her wit.

Character Arc

Walsh’s ideas have immense implications for picture books. I’ve written stories in which the role of the character is important, not the individual personality of the character: They don’t sell. Modern stories celebrate the individual as unique, with well-rounded characterization. Listen to these comments from my rejection letters:

Dutton: “I’m afraid I can’t offer it a place on our list because we aren’t having much luck with folktales in the current market.”
Harcourt: “It’s hard to distinguish the voice of each character; they both sound rather generic. . . . I find the narrative voice rather distancing; I don’t respond to the girl as a character.”
Scholastic: “I didn’t feel that the narrators developed enough depth and personality to make the ending truly resonate for me.”

When I first wrote a manuscript called Paul Allen, everything in it was in the folktale mode. Characters related to their environment and to each other in terms of roles: A small boy finds imaginative ways to fill his days. Beyond his imaginative skills, I did no character development, wrongly believing it not necessary in a picturebook.

After thinking about the difference in folktale mode and modern mode characters, I rewrote it as Nineteen Girls and Me ( Philomel, 2006). It’s a story about friendship in a kindergarten classroom with nineteen girls and one lone boy. John Hercules Po (new name for this individual!) is an individual with a unique problem that he solves in unique ways. His big brother teases him that those girls will turn him into a sissy. John Hercules worries about this and the reader understands more of his inner life. In the end, he rejects his brother’s ideas and proclaims that he has “nineteen friends.” He now has a character arc.

Beyond Premise

About plot, Walsh says, folktales must be understood as symbolic, not rational. She cites the story of Oedipus, who kills his father and marries his mother: “If ever a story was symbolic, this is it; but in the moral universe of the modern world it does not make sense.”In Cinderella, Walsh points out all the illogic, the incoherency—sitting in ashes, a father who does nothing to help a beloved daughter, dancing in a glass slipper that is the only piece of finery to remain after midnight, a prince who can’t remember the face of the girl he danced with the night before.

Rational dissection, Walsh says, doesn’t work for a folktale.When I read that, I wanted to cheer! This is exactly how I’ve felt when editors read and comment on my stories: (Note: Or when you read the comments from the fictional letter on Fuse 8!)
Greenwillow: Parts of the story are hard to believe.”
Harcourt: “Many of the reasons behind plot events or characters’ actions are rather unbelievable or seem undeveloped.”
Dial: “I’m afraid the plot had substantial logic problems. “
Candlewick: “I’m sorry not to have been more convinced by the story.”

If the stories were considered as folktales—if my characters are fulfilling designated family roles and the stories are symbolic—then the logic or lack of it shouldn’t be a problem. But in reality, editors consider stories as rational, believable, developed, convincing. Sadly, none of my folktale approach picture book stories have sold. Walsh’s article helped me to understand why: I need a new paradigm.

In some ways, I’m rephrasing an old problem. A story premise and a plot are two different things. The premise is the idea that sparks a story and the plot is what actually happens. But it goes deeper, to the heart of character. Cinderella has a plot with a strong beginning, middle and end. But she’s never pulled out of that folktale role. Today’s stories demand a character who is an individual, not a stand-in for a certain role. In Nineteen Girls and Me, I changed a “creative kid” role into a boy stuck in kindergarten without any other boys for a friend. His creativity–instead of being the point of the story–became a character quality that propels him toward a resolution of his problem.
Along these lines, it’s fascinating to read Donna Jo Napoli’s novels, which are retellings of folktales and see how she develops realistic characters and takes care of the necessity for the story logic to be impeccable. In Zel, Rapunzel has the same roles as the folktale and the plot is familiar. But a new paradigm–Rapunzel’s inner life–dominates this version.

What I had been looking for in my picture books was a fairy godmother who could make my stories shine like a glass slipper. But maybe I don’t need her help any longer. With my new paradigm, I just need to sit down with my characters and have a nice long chat about what’s really going on with them.

by Darcy Pattison

One question that often arises is, “Can you revise for voice?”

Yes.

First Revision of 19 Girls and Me

For example, in an early draft of Nineteen Girls and Me, I revised for an editor and sent him a version that started like this:

When John Hercules Po started kindergarten in Room 9B, it was an odd class. There were nineteen girls and one boy, John Hercules.

“You’ll be a sissy,” said John’s big brother. He was in second grade and he was not a sissy.

“No, I won’t,” said John Hercules. “I’ll turn those girls into tomboys.”

On Monday, when the kindergarten went out for recess, a ladder was lying beside the wall. John Hercules called to the nineteen girls, “Let’s climb that mountain.”

Nineteen girls and one boy climbed Mount Everest and played with the Abominable Snowman until Mrs. Ray called them in to warm up with chicken noodle soup for lunch.

I thought I did a good job!

Editor’s Reaction

The editor at wrote back: “You clearly took my suggestion to heart, and have a stronger manuscript as a result. My sense is you’re not all the way there yet, though. When I read this story, my gut is searching for a snap! of energy, to play alongside the soaring imagination of the children. Instead, the narrative voice feels bland, and so the energy level of the story remains somewhat grounded. You have a fun concept with true potential; now you just need to inject your narrative voice with some of that spirit in order to reach that potential. What I’d like to suggest is that you turn yourself loose (as you did when thinking of a new title); really inject some personality into the piece. It’s always better to reign energy back in than it is to come up short.”

Second Revision

Oh, great! This editor is known for “buying voice” and he’s saying, “the narrative voice feels bland.” I was in big trouble! But, I had been studying voice–all the things I’ve discussed on Voice Fridays–and I was ready to give it a try. A year earlier, I would have been in despair, not having a clue of where to begin. Now, I had some ways to start, things to look at, strategies to try. First, I thought that I would look at stress. In talking about words, I mentioned that the ends of sentences are positions of stress, especially if the word is a single syllable word ending in a hard consonant. In this sentence, what is the most important word? (Try to answer it before reading on!)

“When John Hercules Po started kindergarten in Room 9B, it was an odd class.”

I thought that ODD was the most important word; it’s also a single syllable word, ending in a hard consonant. I moved it to the end of the first sentence and started the revision from there.

Here’s part of the revision:

The kindergarten class in 9B was odd.

“Nineteen girls,” said John Hercules Po. “And me.”

John?s big brother shook his head. “What a shame! A sissy for a brother.”

“Not me!” John Hercules said.

“I’ll turn those girls into tomboys.”

At noon on Monday, the kindergarten went out. John Hercules saw a long ladder near the wall.

“Let?s climb Mt. Everest!”

Nineteen girls and one lone boy, they climbed and climbed. They climbed so high, they reached theYeti’s peak.

“Stay!” the Yeti cried. “Today, we play!”

Nineteen girls and one lone boy, they played beneath the Yeti’s peak until–

“Lunch,” called Mrs. Ray.

Nineteen girls and one lone boy warmed their hands with soup du jour.

Same story, different voice; Philomel Books bought this version.
in Englishin Chinesein Arabic

I call this type of revision a Quantum Leap Revision, because I?m not just looking at punctuation or grammar, but at the way I tell the story. This isn’t a Pretend Revision, but a leap in how the story is told. Once you know the story you want to tell, then you want revisions that focus on HOW you tell the story. That is voice.

Revising has two goals: what is the story I want to tell; what is the best way to tell that story. Yes, they are intertwined and affect each other. But you can revise for voice. Consciously. Successfully.

by Darcy Pattison

This year, I’ve been doing Friday Ideas to help generate ideas for picture books.

After five months, here’s the update.

The idea was to try to write a picture book each week. Well, at least to come up with a viable idea for a picturebook each week. Ideas, I did. And, I’ve written five picturebook mss that I really like and am starting to market. Last year, I think I wrote two picture books. So, my production is definitely up.

Each week, we take a word and try to generate ideas that the word inspires. We feel free to take off on any tangent, as long as it’s a picture book idea.

One thing that’s happened is that some words are harder for picture books and actually inspired more middle grade novel ideas, rather than picture books. But I’m also better at generating lots of ideas from which to choose. We’ve sorta discussed why we develop this idea, rather than that one. It just has to be a story idea that stuck for some reason and won’t let us alone.

Here’s the list of words we’ve used. I want to go back through my notebook this week and see if there are ideas lurking that will grab me as a flip past them. When I write the words down in a list like this, it makes me think of magnetic poetry. So, I’m wondering if I could do a story using all of them?

Friday Ideas words to date: help, peace, phoenix, buzz, 80s, super-hero, wired, I Spy, green, polar, neighbor, red, sprout, crash, gravity, communication, hide, total snap, fortune, remember. Off to brainstorm more picture book ideas. But, the school/family pressures are finally letting up and I’m itching to get back to a novel! Soon!

Friday Ideas Updated for 2008

At our Arkansas SCBWI conference last week, Liz Waniewski (ONE–es-key), Dial editor, kept track of her slush pile pb submissions by category. Here are the top 12 picturebook topics that she received–thus, the top 12 to avoid!

Good examples of these topics are given, because we need to know our competition. If a topic is blank–help me out by suggesting your favorite in these categories.

1. First Day at School 19 Girls and Me by Darcy Pattison. (Obviously–my book! If you’ve read it, please review it on Amazon! Thanks!)

2. Cleaning up your room Clean Your Room, Harvey Moon by Pat Cummings.

3. Tooth fairy The Bear’s Toothache by David McPhail. A Little Brown editor once commented that this book has been in print continuously for 20 years and is still a steady seller for them. She said she’d love to see books that address kid-friendly topics in such a unique way. NOT strictly a tooth fairy book, because the fairy is just implied at the end. Still–it’s a book about losing teeth and it’s competition if you write this kind of story.

4. Christmas/Halloween Suggestions?

5. Wanting a pet Nominations?

6. Dealing with a disability (thus, message-driven) Hard topic to do well!

7. “Hi! My name is. . . and I am seven years old!” Suggestions?

8. Visiting Grandma and Grandpa.  Nominations?

9. New baby Favorites. Perhaps, Moo Baa La La La or the Spanish version.

10. Barnyard stories (! She wasn’t sure why she was getting barnyard stories, but there they were! Rural nostalgia?) Hattie and the Fox by Mem Fox. A classic!

11. Bedtime stories Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. 60th Anniversary Edition!Spanish version

12. Personal hygiene.Everyone Poops (My Body Science Series)